Who knew Van Morrison was awesome?

Usually, our first impressions are accurate. You rarely see an unattractive girl and think she’s hot six months later. You don’t usually think a movie is boring tripe and find it to be outstanding on a second viewing. And, most of the time, when you hear a song or an album, you can generally be assured that the musician’s other work is no different.

But this time, I was shocked. When you think of Van Morrison, you think of “Brown Eyed Girl” and that’s about it. And it’s a cool, jangly little song and all, but why would you think Van Morrison’s all that much different from, say, Jackson Browne? Well, you’d think that because you’re uneducated, and I can thankfully report that I got religion yesterday. Many have praised Astral Weeks as a particularly strong effort, and many have called it one of the finest pop albums ever made. I was very skeptical of this evaluation prior to listening, as I just didn’t hear the brilliance in the stuff I’d heard before.

Well, I heard it here. I don’t think a track by track review would really do justice to the creative work I heard here: there was no filler and the transcendent beauty of the album becomes clear before the first track ends. I was actually sad when the album ended, and that’s how you know it’s great. What a terrific effort. You need to listen if you haven’t yet.

“Pinkerton” taught me all I needed to know about the first half of 2008

It’s true.  I’ve listened to this album far too much this summer, but Weezer’s typically impeccable songwriting might as well have been about the 2008 MLB season.  What?  Too gimmicky, too pop culture?  Sorry – that’s how I roll, and it’s a natural consequence of having nothing to do for the next month.  Lyrical dedications to the brides, bridesmaids, and flower girls of the first half:

Why are you so far away from me?

To the Colorado Rockies, who must find it impossible to remember the greatest September charge of our generation.  Most expected Colorado to at least keep it respectable, and possibly contend for an NL West crown.  Ironically, the primary criticism of Colorado’s chances came from those who expected the Rockies to be an 84 win club, which would of course not be nearly enough to sink the Diamondbacks.  As it turns out, an 84 win pace would give the Rockies the biggest divisional lead in baseball.

Goddamn, you half Japanese girls, do it to me every time

To Kosuke Fukodome, who made the All-Star team thanks to ballot stuffing that would even make the LDP proud.  (If you thought that joke was funny, proceed to the University of Chicago immediately).  He’s a fine player, gets on base and plays OK defense and all.  But there are about twelve NL outfielders who would have been clearly better choices.  It’s cool: the fans get what they want.  I guess.

So why can’t I be making love come true?

To the Tampa Bay Rays, who must feel after a seven game losing streak like it’s all just a fling, with the real thing to be put off indefinitely.  Don’t fret: these things happen.  You’re a good baseball team now, and good baseball teams win games again.  Take three days, enjoy your position in the AL East.  You’re still ahead in the loss column, and all will be well.

So I’d rather keep whackin

To the Milwaukee Brewers, who walk less than any comparable offensive outfit I can remember.  I mean, look at these guys, right?  They’ve got seven legit 25 HR guys in that lineup, have a few guys underachieving, and still are 4th in the NL in slugging percentage.  Why is it so easy to pitch to them?  Why does a holy terror like Ryan Braun have only twenty walks all year?  If they fall short to the Cardinals, Mets, Phillies, or whomever for the wild card, they’ll have this to blame.

When I look in the mirror, I can’t believe what I see

To the Cleveland Indians, the best run franchise to underachieve this much in recent memory.  It all makes sense!  Everything they’ve done!  And still nothing works.  I can’t explain Travis Hafner’s decline without some stupid steroid-ridden theory, but maybe it’s true.  The most inexplicable team in baseball.  Of course, their Pythagorean record is about .500, but even that’s ridiculous.  In 2006, this looked for all the world like a perennial hundred win team.

If everyone’s a little queer, why can’t she be a little straight?

To the Atlanta Braves, the queens of reasonable requests.  Atlanta is now a hilarious 5-22 in one run games, with a Pythagorean record that would put them right in the middle of the divisional race.  I have no explanation.  I’ve thought about it for two months and I have no idea what’s happening down there.  Worst luck ever.

I did what my body told me to

To Mark Mulder.  I’m sorry, man, but I think it’s all done.  As a Cardinal fan and a baseball fan, I appreciate and respect what he tried to do.  But I think it’s time to say goodbye.  Many Cardinal fans resent you, but not me: it’s not your fault we overpaid, and it’s not your fault your best wasn’t enough.

 

It used to be a game, now it’s a crying shame

To the Kansas City Royals, who adamantly refuse to run a proper organization.  They piss away money on free agents who will never be around for their next .500 season, they refuse to draft the best talent…….wow.

Excuse the bitchin, I shouldn’t complain

To Hank Steinbrenner.  Seriously, what did you think was going to happen with this team?

Maybe you could break my heart next summer

To the Milwaukee Brewers, again.  They’ll contend this year, and could win the World Series if all goes well.  But they probably won’t (that’s the nature of the postseason), and will have exactly one decent, major league-ready starter on the roster at this time next year.  If they don’t get pitching help fast, a major opportunity will slip.

It’s gonna hurt me, it’s gonna kill when you desert me

To the St. Louis Cardinals, who’ve inflicted a pennant race on me.  Trouble is, I think we brought a hamburger to a steak fry.  This year has gone better than I could have ever expected, particularly with the best pitcher on the team in the hot tub.  And the second best pitcher…….and the…….

I hope she stays, but I think she’s gonna go.

It’s the best album of 2007, and it was made in 1968

Isn’t that ironic?  Further evidence that music peaked in 1969 and 1992, as Stephen Stills’ Just Roll Tape proved to be the best release of the year.  I actually just got around to listening to it today, and I just finished my third listen.  Folks, it really is that good.

Much of the material will be recognized as CSN/CSNY efforts from later on, but Stills’ first attempt at these wonders is absolutely fantastic.  Here’s the killer: this was all recorded in one day, as Stills plunked down some money and said “just roll tape”.  The album was absolutely captivating from the first note, with “So Begins the Task”, “Change Partners”, and “The Doctor Will See You Now” proving to be absolute gems.  The album was so strong that even a momentary lapse in its brilliance was audible, but still outstanding.  This album comes within a hair of mid-1960s Dylan, and even the weakest tracks would be the best on nearly any album out there.

“Change Partners” is certainly my favorite, both because it shimmers musically and offers a fresh take on love that you just don’t see often (I mean, how much ink has already been spilled on “love” anyway?).  The tracks blend together beautifully, and if this had been a bootleg released at the time, rock enthusiasts would be clawing out eyes for a copy. 

This is probably the first time since I first heard Another Side of Bob Dylan or The Times They Are A-Changin’ that I’ve been genuinely inspired by music.  I hope that there will come a day when I can do something half as good in some area of my life.  Wow.  You’ve just got to get this one – pay whatever it costs.

Edit: And if that doesn’t convince you, consider this: Stills’ acoustic version of “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes” is even better than CSN’s tour de force.  Seriously, just roll to the store and get this album.  Whatever you listen to, this will satisfy.